Pink daisies, Divorce, and caring for the wounded: How some Christians got it right!

I like flowers.  No, I don’t need anyone to send me any flowers but I know someone that does.

I am not going to presume to be the flower expert.  My Dad is the flower connoisseur in my family; he has over 60 rose bushes in his home in North Carolina. I like flowers. I like that each is unique individually even if it is of the same kind and color.  Flowers add colour and flavour (to use the British spellings) to life.  Flowers light up my wife’s face when I give them to her.  I even gave Meghan 3 dozen roses after we had dated a year; ought to do that here soon.  What I like the most about flowers is giving them. My grandfather many years ago got me into the family tradition of giving my mom and orchid for Mother’s Day.  Giving flowers add meaning and depth.  The specific type of flower is metaphoric.  If you give a single red rose you may invoke romance or passion; unless she isn’t that into you then rejection.  If you give a white rose it says purity.  Give a yellow rose you invoke feelings of friendship unless you give it to your significant other and then she might be breaking up with you. Of course the worst rose to give is the black rose aka “the kiss of death” unless it is someone’s 40th birthday and they are going “over the hill”; then it is just a joke. Pink daisies are my new favorite; not manly but full of meaning.

I know someone to whom you should send flowers.

Divorce is painful.  Often divorce happens because someone or both in the relationship have been selfish.  Because of the pain of divorce sometimes people celebrate.  I have known friends that have had a “happy signing the papers” party.  I have known others that have gone out and had sex with the first person they met.  I even had a friend who sat and got drunk all alone at home.

I know someone to whom you should send flowers.

Sometimes a divorce is healthy. Healthy how?  One word “abuse.” I have a friend who was abused in multiple ways.  Regardless, she tried to work on marriage for over a year, went to counseling, begged partner to go to marital therapy and partner refused, and even tried a trial separation for 6 months.  The last thing that she wanted was to get a divorce.  Divorce is against her faith beliefs and her faith group.  Often times churches banish divorcees of any kind.  There can even be a “witch hunt” by leaders of some churches to find if the divorce was “scriptural or unscriptural”; the whole process is against God’s will.  Some churches might as well sew a red “D” on people’s clothes that have ever divorced and excommunicate them from all faith.  All of the above a reasons are why my friend did not want to divorce.  Regardless, because of the abuse she endured she did.

Her church redeemed her. They heard her pain.  They were patient with her.  They redeemed her faith.  Her church Got IT Right.  They sent her pink daisies.

My friend’s church is helping bring healing. They could have continued the abuse that already occurred by shaming her; instead they chose to love. They are taking something painful and making it whole; they are redeemers. They redeemed my faith and hope in church.

I know someone to whom you could send flowers.  Those who have recently divorced, those who would have celebrated a wedding anniversary if it were not for divorce, and those who are separated.  Send them some flower.  I recommend pink daisies.

God,

Please bring peace to those hurting from broke relationships.  Bring healing to those who have lost intimacy. Bring them pink daisies in whatever form they may come.  Help me to be that pink daisy in my friends’ life.

Amen.

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