When Has God Not Been Faithful?

“When Has God Not Been Faithful?” but why this title?  Why the question mark at the end title?  When has God ever been faithful if there is a god?  You believe that there is a god in spite of the fact that science cannot prove the existence of god, in spite of genocide, in spite of Christians hurting each other, in spite of. . .  (you fill in the blank)?

When I first came up with the saying “When Has God Not Been Faithful?” as my life motto I did not know the pain that I would have to go through.  I did not know that I would have to enter the recesses of my pain and address my anger that I had bottled up; bottled, shaken, and spewed sideways.  I did not know that I would be abused by other people of faith.  I had never fathomed that I would be so disgusting to people that they would rejoice, celebrate, and even put it on a marquee thanking God that I was leaving their town.  However, I do not believe that good experiences or bad experiences prove anything about whether there is or there is not a god.  Experience shape and form ideology, emotions, spirituality, and faith.  Experiences are vital.  Facts are vital.  However, experiences are disproven daily by another individuals experiences or can be clouded by emotional unhealth.  Facts guide all knowledge yet in the medical community it is common knowledge that “what we know today in 5 years may be completely wrong” which has been proven tenfold. Nevertheless, experiences and facts are to be respected, acknowledged, and sifted with wisdom or a “grain of salt” however à la mode you choose to describe it.  All the more, experiences and facts are guide posts.  They are not the reality themselves, but are a framework from which I believe every individual operates in life whether knowingly or unknowingly.

As a person of faith I believe that God is always faithful regardless of if I can comprehend how He is faithful, regardless of pain that occurs in life, and in spite of broken dreams.  Some might call that blind faith yet I am a person who questions God to show up and be God.  This does not mean that God is my puppet and that He acts as my amulet at my beck and call.  He is God; I am not. I am a person who doubts God. I question Him out of pain that I experience daily, out of hurt of past things that have occurred, I get angry with God and yes even curse Him. However, most if not all of those pains and sufferings have occurred, occurring, and will occur due to one of five things 1. My current rebelling against God. 2. My past rebelling towards God. 3. There is brokenness in the world which is beyond my control. 4. God allows it possibly for my character formation. 5. God has something better planned.

My pain and suffering are not due to God not being God. Therefore, “if God is not God then we need not worry” however, if God is that “being than which no greater can be conceived” (Anselm/ontological argument) then there are implications for my life out of His faithfulness. I am a believer that IF I can answer and prove that God is not faithful as He claims in scripture then I am allowed to quit on Him.  I believe this to my core. The single best way of proving that God is not faithful is time. In time all will be proven even at the end of time, if there ever is such a thing. Until that time when all is made clear I will live in tension and continue to ask and question “When Has God Not Been Faithful?”

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

–Reinhold Niebuhr

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